Let us roast your startup now!

Choose Your Path to Strategic Laughter (and maybe an Exit)!
Tired of silence in your Zoom calls? Is your pitch deck lacking that oomph that says, 'I understand the absurdity'? At Startoopia, we turn your struggles into viral gold. Pick the package that aligns with your desired level of self-awareness (and investor attraction).

Pre-Seed

For founders just starting to feel the existential dread. Get a taste of comedic clarity without over-committing your dwindling seed funds.

$999

/ one-time

What's included:

1x Micro-Roast Script (500 words): A sharp, succinct takedown of your most egregious startup buzzword or a minor team dysfunction.

1x Video Outline Concept: A skeletal structure for a 60-second viral short. We call it an MVP (Minimal Viable Punchline).

"Honest Feedback" Consultation (15 mins): A quick call with our Head of Existential Comedy. We won't sugarcoat it, but we will make it funny.

Starter Kit of Jargon Jokes: Five ready-to-deploy one-liners to impress (or confuse) your next angel investor.

Series A

You've raised some capital, now raise some laughs! Elevate your brand (and distract from your burn rate) with expertly crafted comedic content.

$1999

/ one-time

What's included:

Everything in Pre-Seed, PLUS:

3x Full Roast Scripts (up to 1500 words each): Deep dives into your industry's most laughable trends, investor-speak, or founder quirks. We hit harder, you laugh louder.

2x Full Video Script & Storyboard Concepts: Comprehensive plans for 2-3 minute videos. We include character suggestions, visual gags, and a projected 'virality index'.

"Pivot Potential" Roast (30 mins): A strategic session where we explore comedic angles for your inevitable pivots. Laugh now, cry later (but at least you'll have content).

Unicorn

You're scaling fast, burning bright, and need a content strategy that's as legendary (and slightly mythical) as your valuation. This is the whole damn candy factory.

$2999

/ one-time

What's included:

Everything in Series A, PLUS:

5x Epic Roast Scripts (up to 2500 words each): Comprehensive, deeply researched, and hilariously brutal takedowns designed to make rival founders question their life choices.

3x Full-Scale Video Production Concepts: From script to shot list, sound design suggestions, and even casting ideas (mostly for ourselves playing arrogant founders).

Dedicated "Exit Strategy" Roast (60 mins): A personalized session to pre-emptively mock your potential exit strategies. We help you laugh at your future self, no matter how rich.

"Founder Imposter Syndrome" Interview Series: We'll help you script a mock interview where you ironically confess all your fears, making you instantly relatable (and insufferable).

Startup Comedy Unleashed

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